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Sometimes simply being around mothers who “get it” helps you feel more appreciated. So here are some Mother’s Day suggestions:

How would you like to celebrate Mother’s Day?

This article has been updated. It was first published on June 14, 2011.

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Lucy

I would like to be given homemade crafts, a genuine hug and kiss, and a simple “thank you Mom for being my Mom” that’s all. However, I am met with disinterest (hubby says “you’re not my mom” and fails to understand he is teaching our teens how to treat me and their future spouses), questioning (did you send my mom something?), and resentment (by our teens whose bio Mom died when they were small and I am their adoptive mom who had cared for them the majority of their lives since 6 years old). I am infertile and have no birth kids, which also makes me sensitive, but no one cares… just keep working for us Lucy and we’ll keep treating you like crap. (I’m not even called Mom on special occasions.

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Lucy, thank you for being so candid about your situation. I’m afraid this sort of thing happens for moms in blended families and moms of teens. You seem to have a double-whammy and that’s really hard! While technically you are not a biological mother, you clearly are a mother. You have “mothered.” Since we can’t control how others feel or what they do, I would suggest the following:

Sometimes when we treat ourselves the way we should be treated, others follow suit. Not always, but sometimes. I hope this helps. If you’d like to talk about more specifics, try requesting a consultation.

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